Hair Loss Has Destroyed My Life: Jake’s Story
September 7, 2008 by The Bald Truth
I am writing this on a Saturday night. Even 2 years ago I would be out on Saturday nights being social and loving it. I was a senior in high school then with absolutely no signs of hair loss, and looking forward to everything the future was going to bring me.
That was then, and now a completely different story.
I am ONLY 20 (not 25, 26) years old and within only 2 years have almost gone completely bald with diffuse male pattern baldness. Everyday my life is a struggle and its slowly ripping me apart. To make matters worse, there are no signs of hair loss in my family. Hair loss has changed my life so much its really amazing. People started making comments my first year of college and I just ignored it, but when my hair really started going I started to have panic attacks and soon I was forced to move back home and leave that college.
I have been on Propecia for almost a year and it has NOT helped at all and my hair loss is so severe I will not be able to get hair transplants. It has finally settled in that I am going to be a q-tip for my whole life and that I am going to be “the bald guy,” and if it wasn’t for my religious background I would probably have ended my life by now. Two counseling attempts have done nothing because “accepting my image and becoming content” is just not an answer for me. I go to school now, but spend everyday literally in a hat, ignoring people, and hiding. I can t focus on my studies because I have no motivation and all I can think about is how I will always be the “feel sorry for bald guy.” I have literally just “disappeared” from my once solid group of friends, making up lies to them saying I have health issues. I have an anxiety issue as well which makes it even worse. Hair loss has literally already killed me. I feel like a dead man walking. I have been robbed of my youth. All I ever really wanted in life was to be social, have friends, a family, and be content, and I will more than likely not even get that. How am I suppose to go out in the world, get a good job, be social, be confident, try to start a family, when I am a repulsively looking young bald guy?
I really do believe that the absolute worse thing (not life threating) that can happen to a young guy is losing his hair. The fact of the matter is, if you are young and losing your hair, your life is gonna change. You have no choice. I am litterally sickened that there is nothing to really cure severe hair loss and that doctors just dont take hair loss seriously. I feel so bad for young balding guys, if there are others out there (I hear about them but never see them) and just wish society would understand how devastating going through this really is. Hair loss has taken my self esteem, my youth, my motivation, my friends, and my life. I just wish there was something that could be done.
Jake
Jake:
I’ve read your story and I listened to Spencer speak about your story on The Bald Truth. I can only imagine how fruitless any words that I say are in comparison to the devastation that your hair loss has imploded on your life. But do know, as a hair loss sufferer myself, I do empathize with you, and wish you the very best in the re-strengthening of your spirit that your hair loss has taken away.
Be strong, my friend.
Tee Jay
Jake, I feel your pain, but hairloss is something that you must face as a reality. Unless there is a miracle cure for your type of hair loss, you’re going to be bald and that’s the reality. Accept it, don’t fight it. Accept it. Accept it.
Also, being blind is worse than losing your hair. I was blinded a few months ago and I didn’t know if I would ever see again. I NEVER got depressed because I faced the reality. I was prepared to accept being blind because I had no other choice. I would have to learn to THRIVE being blind. Luckily, over time, my sight returned against the odds. So now, it’s easy for me to say I’m a member of the face reality club because I did it.
You can face your hair loss and THRIVE once you accept it. If I could accept being blind, you can accept hair loss. I’m weak, and you’re not!
Anyway, I’m with you! Your going to be fine. It will take some time to get used to and then you will accept it and THRIVE again. Keep your chin up.
Joe S.
Thanks guys for the replies. You know, honestly, i have accepted it, and this is just how i react to it. The lifestyle i have been living for the past 5-6 years has been in a group of people/city that is really all image and self esteem based, and i remember about 5 months ago when i was with my friends and we saw this bald guy and they were just completely ragging on him, and thats when i realized that even though these guys were good friends, i can just never hang out with these guys anymore cause that bald guys is gona be sooner rather than later. Did you say he spoke about it? on the show? is there anywhere i can listen to that?
thanks
Jake,
I was listening to the show last night and heard Spencer talking about your story. I was in the exact same place as you are now accept I began losing my hair at 16. By the time I was 18 I had lost about 2 inches of my hair line and was developing a bald spot. I’ve been listing to the show for like 6 years now and it has really helped me cope with my situation. Spencer always says that there is life after hair loss and at first I didn’t believe him, but he is right. I decided to shave my head down to a #2 an go on with my life. I’m 24 years old and while it still sucks to be the young balding guy, I have managed to enjoy my life.
I’m not a great looking guy without my hair. I was considered good looking before I lost it, but I still do OK with the girls. It’s all about how you deal with it.
I still have my bad days, that’s probably why I still listen to the show instead of just moving on, but I really do feel good most of the time and when I was your age I did not believe that I would survive my hair loss.
You have friends here.
Matt
Thanks Matt, i think whats really extra hard is growing up in Orange County, CA where people just are really image based and for me to suddenly lose my image so young has just been so drastic and i just dont think people understand how devasting and life altering it is for a young guy to be going through this.The absolute worse part is losing motivation. Losing image is bad but motivation just kills.
Hey Jake,
Matt’s right in saying that you have friends here. Your
story prompted me to write an article that will be posted the the site shortly.
Hang in there man. You’ve found a safe place. We’re here to help.
Spencer
You can’t change the cards you are dealt, but you can change how you play the hand. You have to play the hand differently. There is ALWAYS a way to overcome things like this. ALWAYS.
It doesn’t matter where you live, being a young guy with severe hair loss sucks but it can be handled. Joe S. is right in saying that you have to play the hand that you are dealt. Believe me when I say in time you will realize that it is not as bad as you think it is.
Hey Jake,
I can totally relate to your story. When I was initially going through this I felt like my youth was slipping away too. And as far as motivation goes, I can remember sitting in my room for days on end seven years ago. I was completely despondent, feeling out of control—like my life was slowly slipping away. I though about the easy way out too: some sleeping pills washed down with a half bottle of Johnny Walker Black…and it would all be over. But I gradually came out of my funk and trust me you will too. Believe me your’re going to get though this and you’ll be stronger because of it. Hang in there man…
Hair Loss is a big pain in the ass and can really take a toll on your life but we all have our crosses to bear. You will eventually learn to deal with it if you can’ treat it. I have had some luck with Propecia, but I still don’t like the way my hair looks. It makes me very uncomfortable in social situations and sometimes even with my family.
Jake:
I just thot I’d share with you that I also live in OC. It’s the “beautiful people” capital of the world, and it can be extraordinarily tough, unfair, and downright cruel for young hair loss sufferers. I actually have a double-whammy — not only am I fighting hair loss (I’ve had 2 HTs, one with an awesome IAHRS doctor), I’m also quite short for a male. If I went completely bald, I’d be the next Danny De Vito. Sometimes at a Starbucks or other spot where there are lots of beautiful women, I casually hold the door open for them on my way in or out. And when I do, some of them don’t say thanks, and some of them don’t even make eye contact. Not only is it rude, it also feels like they’re telling me I’m below the standard of the male they are willing to talk to. It’s unfortunate that mentality exists out here.
But with time, you’ll begin to realize the emotional pain of not being perfect — of losing hair or whatever it may be — is just too tiring and too much of a drain. I’m 35, and it’s really sinking in with me now, 11 years after I started losing hair. You’ll learn to focus your energies on things that will produce a positive return for your life, whether it’s a career, a passion, a hobby, you name it. You’ll learn to be happy with who you are, and when that day comes, the other pieces of your life puzzle will fall nicely into place. And you’ll just get to be yourself, happily. Imperfections and all.
So keep hanging in there man. Keep haning in there.
Tee Jay
Jake,
Listen to what these guys are saying. I lived through it also and I understand what it is to be depressed. Don’t let it consume your life. Concentrate of positive things.
Hang in there.
Lee
Tee Jay,
Did anyone ever tell yo that you look like Robert Dinero in Good Fellas?
I started losing my hair at 16-17. I had been very popular with girls prior to that time, and when I started losing my hair, all of a sudden few girls were interested in me. In addition, male friends who had previously been jealous of my success with girls began making fun of my hair loss. I was so depressed, I almost delayed attending university because I could barely get up in the morning. I then wore a hat 95% of the time for a year and a half, and had frequent thoughts of suicide. I thought I would never find a wife, never have friends like I had previously had, never feel comfortable in public again. However, with time, you do adapt, and once you hit 25 or so, far more guys start balding along with you, which makes it much better. There are even many women in their late 20s who don’t mind, and lots of balding guys I know have attractive wives/girlfriends. It’s true that balding limits your opportunities (especially when it comes to picking up at a party or a club, for example), and I do sometimes become a bit depressed about it even now (age 30), but you learn to appreciate and focus on other, more meaningful things are you get older. Hang in there, and with time, you will feel much better about your situation. Trust me, I (and other balding friends) have gone through exactly the same thing.
he amount of stress that I feel from my hair loss is really something. Just like so many of you, i go through so many thoughts wondering, why me? For the longest time i had the thickest, curliest hair you can imagine. all through high school and just about all through college i had very thick thick hair. While I didn\’t start losing it when i was a teenager, i can say with certainty…the pain hurts just as much in your early 20s. I\’m a 25 year old who started losing hair probably when i was about 22 years old. I still have a decent amount of coverage right now, but it\’s only a matter of time before i really lose my mind.
at first i started thinning at the crown of my head but since my hair is curly i can get away with covering the spot up for the most part. it\’s gotten worse as the days go by. i\’ve been on propecia for about 6 months with no results. i\’ve tried so many sprays, oils, foams over the last 3 years….all with no results (even though they all promise them). About a year ago i started noticing that i was thinning at the front of my hairline as well. it\’s gotten pretty bad and i\’m not at a point where i\’m certain i will have the classic horseshoe shape baldness. i almost wonder why i spend 80 bucks a month on a pill that doesn\’t work. propecia is only supposed to help at the crown of your head. if i\’m balding in other places however, why keep taking it??
i\’m without a doubt worried my girlfriend could leave me once she really notices what\’s going on. It\’s not that i think she is shallow and i don\’t trust that she\’ll be here no matter what. who wants to date a bald guy? I was prom king my senior year, could get any girl i wanted in college. i look at pictures of me in college from 4 years ago. i look like a completely different person. i don\’t see me at all. i see a waste of space in the mirror. i don\’t want to go out, i don\’t want to go to work, i don\’t want to eat…i\’m afraid to get a haircut for christ sake.
-lost, sad and fricking depressed
Dear Frankie
I teach college and know a lot of young men in the same position you describe. All I can say is that when I look around the world, bald men seem to be loved as much as non-bald men. Your girlfriend IS shallow if she would leave you for this.
You need to have a life passionate full of joy. It will attract people who care about you. Be so confident, that it doesn’t matter. Care for other people regardless of their physical flaws.
You will have a much more enjoyable time.
peace
Dorothy
I stumbled onto this website by accident after reading a humorous article off of the NPR website on the alternating pattern between bald and hairy guys that Russia seems to have with its leadership. I’m 45 now and began losing my hair during my third year of law school when I was 28. It has been going ever since, and now I have peach fuzz and not much more on top. Like a lot of the guys here I went though a period of looking at alternative “treatments” to hair loss. I tried Rogaine and propecia, looked at a wig (too hot on my head) and consulted with a hair replacement clinic which was all about a sales pitch. In the end I said the hell with it all.
I wasn’t happy about losing my hair but I never even remotely felt like it was a life threatening event. What really bothers me when I read about some of the young men here who think about suicide is the kind of values and thought processes that seem common and accepted in our society now. It used to be that women were the primary victims of the commercially projected image, but men are victims now just as much as women. Television barrages us with images as to what is sexy and attractive and what is not. The American commercial engine of business has convinced too many of us that we need to be six foot tall georgous hunky studs with six packs and buldging muscles or we simply aren’t attractive. Perception becomes reality, but you can’t let yourselves buy into that because it is just plain bullshit aimed at one thing and one thing only, capturing the dollars in your pocket. Too many businesses and hair treatment clinics out there prey on insecurity that they manufacture. Making people feel inadquate and bad about themselves and then offering “the remedy”, at a price of course, is a trick salesmen of all kinds have used for thousands of years.
Those of you who say your “friends” treated you badly once you started going bald need to reassess how you define someone as a friend. If someone only hangs out with you because of how you look there is a problem. If you judge your entire self worth on the basis of your outer shell then you have another more serious problem as well. You shouldn’t respond to shallow people by becoming shallow yourselves.
Anyone worth having as a friend or a lover is someone who knows that who you are as a human being is one hell of a lot more important than whether you have a thick patch of hair on the top of your head.
My advice to those of you who think the end of the world has arrived with the advent of your hair loss is to take a deep breath and move on with your life. Who you are is controlled by what you do and how you act, not by how closely you conform to a commercially manufactured ideal that is designed to shoot down your self-esteem.
Be proud of who you are and everything else will fall into place.
Chris
Hey Chris,
Your comments are spot on! Men have more pressure today to meet an unrealistic and manufactured ideal of “beauty” than ever before in our society’s history.
The reason I created these resources was to provide a place for hair loss sufferers to openly discuss the issues and to learn to embrace the idea that their is life after hair loss . It would be wonderful if we could just accept the hand that we’ve been dealt and move on, but as you know this is not easy for many.
How someone chooses to deal with their hair loss is a very personal thing, however I want those who do choose to go the hair restoration route to fully understand the reality of the hair loss industry and to empower themselves with the information needed to make a truly informed decision.
You are correct is thinking that many in the hair loss industry are nothing but salesman. I better the most know exactly how “the business of hair” operates and in most cases it’s a disgrace.
Spencer Kobren
I am blown away by these comments. I was looking for some hair solutions for my new husband who has a large receding hair line , but now I think I will keep him the way he is. I have always liked a soft bald head on a man. I think it is “manly” I would rather see that than a comb over . Also , I did date a man for 2 years that had a peice from Hair Club for men. We had sex, swam , showered for 2 years and I never knew. I was blown away when he finally showed me. I was pretty impressed with it. Either way I feel for you guys and just be comfortable with yourself , because there are really hot women out there like me who will love you the way you are.
Hi Lorie — cool note. So, do you have any single sisters, cousins, anything? If yes, please send them my way.
yeah, send them my way too
Believe me when I say that hair loss is a MILLION times worse when it happens to a girl. Any one of you guys here, would you take a look at a balding girl and think ”Im interested”? Please dont misunderstand that I believe guys to be shallow, but I am positive the answer to the above question is a resounding NO.
Im so scared right now, I hope another hair isnt falling out as I type. Im even younger than jake above, and my life has just begun only to seemingly end.
I feel like Im getting increasingly neurotic because of hair loss. Like Im losing my old self. oh my god, I just dropped another hair. I cannot type aymore, I feel so frightened now.
I wish all of you here all the best.
melissa, I understand that you a freaking out.. I found out recently that a pretty girl in highschool that I knew was completely bald.. I had no idea whatsoever, she wore this special wig (apparently) everyday and no one knew. THe only reason I found out later was that her brother, who I am friends with told me. There is always that as a last resort, but I don understand your freaking out. I think that everyone is affected by it whether man or woman, although its more acceptable for a man, its still the same feelings of emotion.
Hi Melissa,
I totally understand what your going through even if I am a guy, but I keep telling myself that the faith inside me that’s burning, keeps telling me “there’s hope” like our President Obama would always say. Whatever your situation is, please don’t go on this road alone and let yourself be at fault! Your probably an amazing person with a great heart and future of gifts awaiting to be opened by you. Someone once told me that in a situation of “hairloss” or any other problem, its all about being “PROACTIVE” and that means basically doing whatever it takes to make “ends meet”! But my queestion to your problem is, did you ever consult a doctor with your issue? If not, I recently went to a well- expereinced doctor by the name of Dr. Robert Bernstein and he seemed to help me with my situation. His office is located in New York. If you like, I can give you his contact information?
Address- 110 East 55th Street, 11th Floor, New York, New York 10022
Email- contact@bernsteinmedical.com
Tel- 212-826-2400
Late reply, no doubt, but I feel your pain. I started going bald when I was 17 in an unflattering way, and now I look like a Franciscan monk at 27. That is, I would, if I didn’t shave my head, which I started doing when I was 19.
Let me give you a word of advice, don’t just accept your baldness, embrace it. I am reasonably attractice, and was popular with girls in high school. What I found when I started shaving my head, is for every girl who no longer found me attractive, there was another one that suddenly found my shaved head irresistable. Nor did I ever try to hide the fact that I was going bald behind the razor, I often joked about it, and I don’t care if my friends joke about it. I joke about the fact that even bald, more women talk to me than to them, something they find perplexing.
The fact of the matter is, in our age range, shave your head and you pull of the sexy bad boy image pretty well. Even if your head is goofy, or you are a little overweight, or a little skinny. Doesn’t matter, shaved is better than bald spots. As we approach middle age, we can start just using the buzzers ala Jason Statham.
Just one more thing. If you start shaving your head and everyone starts staring at you, it’s not because you look stupid. It’s because you look awesome, and people can’t stop staring at your awesomeness. Remember that.
I too starting losing my hair young at about 17 and reading your story really got me depressed because it hit a little too close to home. I was living in orange county when my hair loss became noticeable and let me tell you it isn’t any easier over here on the east coast.
I’m now 21 and just a shell of my former self. I was once a hit with the ladies in high school and now I’m lucky to get a date, probably because I’ve stopped trying all together. I am convinced that I have become ugly and unattractive so i cope with it by staying in and unfortunately use drugs from time to time to ease my miserable existence. I am extremely depressed and sleep every day til 4 or 5 and running low on hope.
-A miserable pathetic balding creep
Mas , dont feel like you’re the only one who feels the way you do. I admit that I smoke weed a bit here and there to deal with the agony of hair loss at such a young age. I wish I had some words of encouragement to leave you with, but given the fact I share the same sediment, I just wanna encourage you that you’re not alone.
-Mike
Jake,
I am 28 and have begun to face some hair loss and am always affraid to end up bald. But I will say the following:
1- you should honestly work out like crazy and turn your body into a Vin Diesel type of body. Seriously, I am not kidding, every single bald guy that is ripped looks and gets more attention then the full head of hair average guy. So if it’s looks you’re worried about, try this method.
2- working out will actually make you concentrate on other body parts and will alleviate the attention on your head. Trust me, I shave my head completly every summer and it feels great because I totally shift the attention on my body.
3- try facial hair! A little gold tea looks great on bald guys…and you can have different designs. It’s all about shifting the attention to anther part of your body.
4- try tanning. Tanned guys look great when they are bald. And if you get that body ripped then even better!
5- get a cool pair of glasses, even if you don’t need it.
6- wear alot of V-neck shirts…(ok maybe this one has no relevancy, but hey V necks rock).
Anyways Jake, I hope my suggestions help a litte. It was sad reading your posting, and I think you should concentrate on the positive aspects of yourself and life. Again, its all about shifting the energy towards something else. Think of Vin Diesel, he is HOT even with no hair
best of luck
RK
aw, jake, don’t feel bad.
if your personality is awesome, you dont have to worry. [:
there’s a lot of people that dont care about people’s looks.
i dont care about how people look like.
i care about what’s inside.
but i do understand how you really, really dread the fact of going bald.
don’t worry.
chillax a bit. (:
God loves you too. [:
im pretty sure a lot of other people do too.
keep that head held high. [:
God Bless.
xo dee. [:
I started going bald early as well. Im 27 now and have been using Toppik for 5 years. It works great if you dont have much thinning. But im finding as I get thinner on top it dosnt look as good. I feel everyones pain on here. I feel like i have lost my old self. It destroys your life. I hate going to work because of my hair and will make excuses when I cant push myself to go in. Same with social situations. And if I shaved my head I would look goofy as %$*#. Has anyone had any good results with the hairmax laser comb??? Im thinking of buying it but dont want to waste the money (not like I havnt waisted it on many other hair products). I pray that soon there will be a true hair regrowth product. Good luck to everyone. You have a friend here.
Hi Jake,
i agre with Richard here, i have tried some insane ideas to get my hair to grow, from bob martin dog tablets to oils ect. but nothing worked. Worst part of all was hair grew everywhere except on my head. When i was 22 i had long hair down to the middle of my back then is just started dissapearing.
So i opted for the Vin Diesel option grew a goatee and gymed my ass off. Once i accepted the fact that it was a case of hair today gone tomorrow, my self image improved. If fact, i got more attention from the ladies with a shaved head, good tan and build than i did when i had long hair.
remember, they way you feel about yourself is also the way peple percieve you.
i tried growing my hair a few months ago, i looked like a monk, then mates said to me what the hell are you doing, shave it off bro. so i did.
so chin up mate, there are lots of woman that love a shaved head, but u got the have the body in shape or grow a loooong goatee and buy a harley.
Ciao Ren
Im 22, and this last 6months ive noticed my hair recceding, and getting thinner at the front. IM devestated, it seems to be going so fast, so far only 1 person has really noticed and i have fairly long hair that comes down to my eyes, but its not goona be long before more people do.
I dont know what todo, up untill the age of 18 i wasnt that confident i was ok, but not great, i decided to grow my hair one day, and bam it changed my life, i felt so much happer , i was filled with confidence. Women were no longer something to be scared of but something i could face head on and be part of my life.
4 great years have passed and now i feel like its all being taken away from me.
All my thoughts all day long are thinking about my hair, and dreading the years to come.
I dont knw how to face it, when the day comes when i have to shave my head i dont think ull find an unhappier person onthe planet, I knw its stupid and it is only hair and it is superfical and there are so many worse illness and terrible things in the world. But for me, there is going to be nothing worse.
Phil… I know your concerns and I feel the same way. But now I believe that hairloss can be a choice. This is my suggestion to you. SEE YOUR DOCTOR and ask him about Propecia. This will slow down/stop/ or even regrow your hairloss. We are currently in the cutting edge of hairloss and a NEW treatment has emerged that looks very promising and has a lot of science behind it. There is a current treatment being offered called PRP therapy, now you don’t want to just go anywhere and have it done. If you are considering this treatment I only recommend two doctors because this is such a new treatment and all these companies like Bosley will just get on the bandwagon and will actually be taking people’s money.
Talk to your doctor, listen to these forums and only listen to doctors with the IAHRS seal, or that of “The Bald Truth”. This is not the end of the world.. and you CAN fight this, as I am doing. Everyone on here understands exactly what you are going through, that’s why we are here. Get on Propecia immediatelly, do all your research here, send pictures doctors here will look at them and give their opinion. Most importantly ask questions.
We are all here to fight and get through this,
Destin
Hey Destin,
I am 23 years old. I spoke to you earlier and you gave me some good advice as you currently are giving others as well. I had a few questions to ask you and they are:
1) Do you happen to have any pictures from the before and after effects of using Propecia?
2) When you started the treatment, did you notice a lot of hair shedding and if so, how did you differentiate that from the normal loss of hair you had originally?
3) During the course of the treatment, did it actually slow down your loss of hair and what month did it slow?
4)What shampoo and conditioner do you use along with using Propecia?
5) Do you use 5% minoxidil synergistically with Propecia?
6) If you had to grade from 1- 10 (1 being the least happiest with your results and 10 being the most happiest with your results) what would it be?
It seems like it has helped you alot and is maintaining what you have. That is so good to hear! At the moment, I am skeptical to take the treatment due to some medical issues. But if the drug doesn’t interfere with it, I am praying that I can take it as soon as possible. If you can answer these questions, I would greatly be appreciated. I hope I can be as happy as you! Thank You.
Hey Destin,
Who are the two doctors that you recommend for most patients to go and recieve this NEW therapy?
Two more things:
7) What stage of hairloss would patients be advised to try the PRP therapy?
Again its a great pleasure talking to you and hearing your words of encouragement for all of us. Thank you.
-jphi
I empathise and understand, BUT, society is more accepting of a male losing his hair (ok i guess not so much in your 20’s!), but imagine balding in your 20’s as a female. We females are harped on and on and on about how hair = beauty and defining of a woman.
It sucks, but i have realised i have to find ways to deal with my thinning (and now balding at the front) hair! I wear a topper!!!
I have never really sounded off on this topic, being Im very private, but I cant hold it in any longer. I started to go thin Jr. year in high school and been on propecia ever since. It slowed my hairloss down, but not to the point that it was unnoticable. Imagine having the opposing teams crowd of kids chant Rogain at you infront of a packed gym infront of your home crowd during a ball game. It doesnt end their, my little sister approached me and said everyone she talks to at school thinks your going bald, oohh thanks what a great thing to build my self esteem.
I couldnt wait to get out of highschool before I developed a bald patch. College should be different right? Dont count on it, the damage had been done. I was so self conscious about my thinning, receding hairline, I couldnt let loose and be myself, NO Girls For Me! Instead I sat at home hoping and praying to God, that the Rogain, Propecia, and special diet will have reverse effects, YEEEAAAH RIIIGHT! So I got lower and lower, deeper and deeper into my self pitty. OOoh well aleast no one is making fun of me like in highschool? But no, in my public speaking class, freshman year in college, one girl decided to do a Roast on everyone in the class. What could she possibly say about me? Yeah, that I am going bald and she could see right through my thin hair, right to my scalp. What a great thing to say to me infront of my entire class, being Im only 19 at this point.
All through college I would rarely attempt to speak with girls and when I did, I would watch their eyes wander up to my hair line or lack there of. At that exact point I would discount myself from possibly hooking up with her, thinking “Yep, i have no chance now, i’ve been prejudged and i have no sexual attraction in her eyes anymore.” But what am I supposed to do, wear a hat to college for 4 years, believe me, I whore it 3/4 of the time.
Fast forward 4 years……. I graduated, dont know how considering my motivation, feeling for leading a productive and promissing life dropped off years ago, and ofcourse I graduate my ass right into a RECESSION! I am now George Kastanza, I am bald, have no job and live with my parents, an’t life great. Oh yeah, also wanted to mention the fact I didnt get laid all of college and finally hooked up with a decent girl, which I later relized how mentally disturbed she was after I had sex with her.
To add to my contiued battle for acceptance and an attempt to make the best of my situation. I shaved my head and my mom flipped out, telling me i looked like a cancer patient and will never get a job with a shaved head, “thanks for the vote of confidence mom.” So im back to having a thin fluff of hair on my head, seethrough, and resort to hiding my dispair under a hat 95% of my life. Isn’t life just grand, going bald.
I have also questioned my relationship with God. I have never been a religious fanatic, but do believe in God. I started to question God, “why did you do this to me at such a young age, I wouldnt wish this upon anyone, even those I hated the most, thats how painful, depressing, shameful, and this living hell has been for me.”
Hey jphi, sorry i didn’t get to your questions sooner, I usually talk in the forums, but I kind of forget about this part of the site. 1st off.. great questions and I’ll be happy to answer them as follows:
1. Actually I think I might, but these are just normal pictures, I really didn’t document my progress, which is something I SHOULD have done.
2. To be honest, when I first started propecia I was uneducated about people having the initial shedding when on the drug. In fact I remember after a month of being on it (while taking a heavy B-complex vitamins) I noticed how thinner my hair was becomming and was pretty worried that I did something wrong with myself. But then I read that the initial shedding is actually a sign that it is working, so I just stuck through it and around the 3-4 month mark things started improving on shedding. Secondly, it is really hard to differentiate between regular shedding and hairloss shedding. I just convinced myself that it was good and it needed to get worse before it got better.
3. I’m not sure when it slowed down my hair loss, because I didn’t have much loss.. I saw the initial thinning stages. But I noticed improvements between the 7 - 9 month mark of my hair (darker and generally better).
4. I actually have a strict shampoo regime, which most doctors believe that shampoo doesn’t do anything for hair loss, but I think it might help just a little because it improves the conditions, plus the shampoo I use is a “weak” anti-androgen. I use Nizoral 1% Ketoconazole and some generic 2% Keteconazole shampoo from Walgreens. I use the 1% every Monday and Friday and the 2% every Wednesday and Saturday. I feel like it promotes growth if anything, but definitelly not your only line of defense.
5. No, I did in fact by a 3 month supply of Rogaine Foam about a year ago, but decided not to use it because the benefits are really not that great, and I hear quite frequently about the “dread shed” with having trouble recovering from that. So I decided not to use it.
6. Well I was always happy with my hair, my main goal was to just maintain the hair I have, and if I had any regrowth it would be a bonus. So Finasteride and my treatments have done that so I would say I’m very satisfied. But I do understand these drugs have different effects on different people. However, I am curious as to why you are skeptical… what seems to be your medical issues?
7. I know that Dr. Greco says it works best for patients who are in “the thinning stages” as it is believed to reverse miniturization. I personally believe that this treatment is great and there seem to be absolutely no downside in doing this treatment. I had this treatment done in June 23, 2009 and almost being a month later, I feel like it has improved things and is another “tool in the toolshed” that I can use for my current treatment. I posted before pictures on hairtransplantcommunity.com under my screen name “iwannakeephair1674″. I will be posting after pictures soon.. but for now you can see a few pictures of me and my gf when she came to visit me while I am on my internship.
As for the doctors I recommend…. I feel like Dr. Greco is in the forefront of this technology, and his understanding of PRP and “the matrix” he adds that contain other growth factors seem to be promissing. I know for sure he has the most experience with this treatment, since he is the one bringing it into the hair loss community. However, by reputation I would also recommend Dr. Alan Feller , Dr. Glenn Charles, and I would really back up almost any member of the IAHRS doctors who come on board with this treatment.
**Remember man, stay positive and don’t be afraid to take initiative with your hairloss. I personally believe if you stay on top of new technologies comming out (especially the innovations I hear are to come with PRP), and stick with current PROVEN treatments like Propecia, going bald will be a choice**
Hope this helps man and contact me for any more questions.
-Destin
Slade, I feel for you man, I really do. vow RIGHT NOW, to improve the situation by talking to an IAHRS doctor. Where are you located? I would be happy to show you how to get a hold of GOOD doctors. The truth is I can understand your situation and how you feel. As far as the God thing goes, do not lose your faith over this and be thankful for what you do have, because even though hairloss sucks, things could be a lot worse. However, be thankful for having good people in this world who can help you….like Spencer Kobren for creating the American Hair Loss Association, The Bald Truth, and forming the IAHRS. It doesn’t have to get worse… even if you are a NW7, you can still DO SOMETHING and gain more confidence. Also, look forward to the future…. I believe hair multiplication will not be too much longer and by then you would be able to have a full head of hair again. Don’t lose hope, just that alone is enough to be thankful for.
Hope this helps,
Destin
I understand your pain as my own trial has just began, im only 18, back in november my cousin pointed out to me a area of extreme thin hair, i had never noticed but I thought nothing much of it, well months later it has become a drastic change that haunts me every time i look in the mirror. I have to arrange my hair extremely carefully to conceal all the bald streaks going along my scalp, and it eats me up inside, im so young, denied my moment to feel secure and confident. Ive always been lucky with girls, but I see this as the end of that, I can imagine the thoughts behind eyes that happen to make their careful gaze over a spot that becomes noticeable or unconcealed, and as the days go by my hair becomes thinner n less, soon there will be no hiding it…and I know it makes me sound like a sobby girl but Im so afraid.
Ive been with this girl awhile, and Im afraid of losing her, losing my hair or my scalp becoming patch adams so she no longer finds me attractive. Ive always had shaggy thick long hair, it was like a shell for me, its always made me feel slick, but its disappeared in a mere matter of monthes, now every week seems more n more appalling. I still have a year of high school left to, I cant bare to walk those halls like this, my dad doesnt care, he says its vain of me to care so much, my friends just laugh, no one understands the toll it has, the crushing burden of watching it slip day by day off my scalp. Im just a kid man.
If this bothers you SO much… then why are you people accepting this???? Chase.. do something!!!!! don’t just let it happen if you feel like this man. You need to talk to your doctor about getting on Propecia immediately and don’t just wait it out.
I don’t understand how people are just freaking out and giving up before they even started fighting. There is hope people, if I were you Chase (however, I’m not a doctor but only sharing what has proven extremely successful for me) is to get on Propecia (Stop the progression) and look at / consider PRP ( believe this can do nothing but help your scalp, I really feel like this WORKS!). I believe that it is more than possible to stop the progression of your hairloss and even maybe growing more. I think if you keep up with your Propecia and commit to PRP while you still have time (it’s not too expensive and the worst thing that could happen it doesn’t work, but I believe it will) that you will keep your hair.
I believe in the very least that this treatment WILL slow your hair down until the NEXT best treatment. You have ALL the tools right here to fight this thing, think about it, you have the absolute BEST doctors in the hair loss industry that are gathered here with very knowledgeable people who can help you fight this thing. I was just devastated like you when I found out I was going bald, but I became proactive immediately and have been successful.
Please Chase, don’t give up!
-Destin
Gee reading these just makes me realize how unserious my problems are. Not to be a jerk to Jake or anyone else, but if you’re confide t it shouldn’t matter as much you are who you are. But at the same time I feel the burdon. I am 5′5″ and all my life been shorter and I always got so much shit for it growi g up. I played sports and was always cute never hot. I resented my friends but I always busted my ass at sports and earned respect but I was never good with girls until I hit about 19 I realized it was all bullshit and in my head. I became very good with girls and it’s funny because my friends unknowigly till recently wished they could just approach people and make conversation. I eventually parties to hard got fat, lost all the weight got ripped and shaved my head. After doing that when I was about 23 my hair grew back very thin. It was so weird and I could never do my short haircuts again. Over the last year and a half my hair has been thinning in front and it’s ok g and shaggy to cover it up I so sick of covering it up now though. I am turni g 25 and it’s like it’s almost not worth the trouble anymore and I want to shavemy head now, I look ok with a shaved head not worried about, but I am worried about how bad the bald spot may be. There’s a difference shavin your head with hair and losing it.
At this time I do understand Jake I’m a shorter guy had to way deal with that finally got over it thrived and now another hurdle in the road. Iknow hair restoration is getting better but it’s not something I want to do currently. I want to wait till it becomes norepipular and a little less expe dive I I do come to that option.
I cansay that hair loss shouldn’t impair your life though. I mean. You’re still always going to do the things you enjoy and should still keep you’re personality. It’s funny how detrimental this is. I stress about it and other times cope with it. I’m very physically active. Aybe that’s why I sort of like the idea. The problems. Is people are cruel. I have gotte. I to so many scuffles at bars because guys make a short joke or something when i talk to a girl or they are just being condenscendingthen I push them and shit. Haha I am not a fighter at all but itslike I have to show people it’s not cool. It’s annoyi g getting your ass kicked or fighting when they don’t back down and now it’s like great another hit.
Sorry for the mixed compilation of thoughts. Had a point but lost it now just venting. I think if you reds nice and hold yourself well and are tan Lodi g hair isn’t a big deal just shave it down with a 2-3 guard
Sorry for typosbtw on cell phone doing this. Slow day at the office
Would just like to say thankyou Destin because of your words i finally got off my arse, went to the doctors and got on propecia.
Been about a month on it now, cant say its working either way atm but as i read a lot its not a quick fix.
thankyou for pushing me to take a step towards fighting this, its made me feel better about it!
Jake I completely empathize. I am a woman - my hair was my crowning glory. I was on leave from work for back probems and stress. Unfortunately, te agressive chiropractic treatment I received and tring to cleanse myself from the intolerable pain/and medications brought on by physical/mental stress at first thinned my hair out and then it fell out. I am a woman…. Whether it is a man or woman - ths is devastating and more destructive than any disease. People KNOW if you are wearing a wig - sebaceious glands do not feed into “your hair” - it is costly to replace wigs, they are hot. I cannot go out if it is the lease humid/hot and am always self-conscious. There is not way I can work feeling this way and people may say “Ah well, it’s not that it hasn’t happened before” - it’s people who have hair that say that. It produces more anxiety and stress and I am very careful as to where I go. It has helped rob me of any future happiness. I feel repugnant AND i really have the doctors to blame for this as well. I should have decided MY COURSE OF BACK TREATMENT - it would have alleviated much stress onmy body and consequently my emotional health - but doctors are intimidating - when you are on sick leave from a job - you have to DO WHAT THRY TELL YOU. I wish for them, if there is such a thing as reincarnation - they will experience what they have done to me. The only thing we can do is get on with life as best as we can - self esteem is blown, andmany other health ssues appear. I wish there was a way to make hair grow back they way it was with today’s modern technology. People DO judge a bokk by it’s cover, unforttunately.
Good Day All
I have been bald from the age of eight diagnosed with alopecia areata and then totalis. I have learnt to deal with it and live my life accordingly.
I have a healthy body otherwise and do not regret getting this decease, it has made me who I am today. In time you will know what I mean. God does things for reasons that you may not understand straight away.