Depression and Hair Loss: You’re not Alone
September 8, 2008 by Spencer Kobren
When I first realized I was losing my hair, more than 20 years ago, I was absolutely mortified, however, I think my reaction to the initial onset of hair loss was fairly typical.
First, I went through the denial phase. I tried to convince myself that This can’t really be happening to me. I mean I was only 21. It must be the water or something right?
Next came the questioning phase. I asked select friends and family questions like “Does my hair look different to you? Do I look like I’m going bald?”
This is never a good idea. The truth is you’ll get different reactions depending on who you ask. Some family members will attempt to spare your feelings by saying things like, “Your hair looks great… What are you talking about? You have a ton of hair!”
There’s always one family member, usually a woman, who says “You’re crazy. You’re not the type to go bald.” To this day I’ve never figured out what that means.
Male siblings, on the other hand, can be a little more direct. They’ll tell it like it is and of course throw in a couple of bald jokes.
This is what happened in my case, and this is when my panic phase began. It was true. I was going bald, and at the time I thought my life was over. The date was December 31 1987, New Year’s Eve, the day that has forever changed my life.
I’m not sure if I was prone to depression. I don’t remember ever being quite so down until this time in my life, but I will tell you this: it was very real and it was really bad!
The simple act of showering was torturous for me. To see my hair in my hands and going down the drain with each passing day felt like a slow death.
I was having trouble concentrating at work. I couldn’t enjoy going out with my friends because I was becoming increasing self-conscious about my appearance, and I hated to look at myself in the mirror or in storefront reflections. I became obsessed with my hair loss, and as the weeks passed, my self-esteem was diminishing. I went from a relatively together kid to an emotional mess in less than a year. I was quickly slipping into a really dark place.
Society tells us that guys shouldn’t care about losing their hair. As men, we were raised to believe that any guy who would be so hyper-concerned about something as frivolous as hair loss is a pathetic excuse for a man. Buck up! Get it together! It’s only hair. Deal with it. It’s part of life.
Well, that’s easy to say if it’s not happening to you. But the truth is, while society doesn’t like to admit it, we are all judged by our appearance, especially when we’re young.
If you’re a young guy reading this article, it’s important that you know you are not alone.
Losing your hair can drastically change the way you perceive yourself and it can change the way others react to you in all aspects of life. I’m not going to sugarcoat it.
Because of this fact, it’s reasonable to have feelings of confusion and despair. This is nothing to be ashamed of. There will be women who reject you because of your hair loss. There will be situations in which people will openly make less than polite comments and observations about your receding hairline. These are just the facts.
At first it will be difficult to deal with, but I am here, as someone who was once a severely depressed hair loss sufferer, to tell you that there is life after hair loss.
More than twenty years have passed since that fateful day back in 1987, and there are still days when I deal with feelings of sadness. The fact is, I’ve been extremely fortunate to save as much hair as I have, but the day still may come when I have to let go and just deal with the further progression of my hair loss.
I’m going to save the discussion about what I did and all of the money I spent in an attempt to free myself from the nightmare of hair loss for another article.
I just wanted to let you guys know that I do what I do because I’m just like you. I’m a guy who was hit hard by the onset of his hair loss.
There was a time that I thought I was all alone with my feelings. I believed I was weak and vain because this is what society had drummed into my head. However, instead of letting hair loss overwhelm my life, I chose to take charge of my emotions and my future by turning my obsession into something positive. My profession is built on the hope that shedding a bright light on the harsh reality of hair loss will change the way we experience hair loss and the way society treats hair loss sufferers. I want you to know that while it might not be easy, it does get better.
Be Strong!
Spencer Kobren
Host of The Bald Truth Radio Show
Founder, American Hair Loss Association
Founder and Director of Consumer/Patient Affairs, International Alliance of Hair Restoration Surgeons (IAHRS.ORG)
I felt weak and vain too for being so concerned about my hair loss early on. People have a way of making you feel that way. ..like it’s just a frivolous concern or something. Isn’t that crazy? This in NOT a frivolous concern. Hair loss seeps into and colors almost every aspect of our lives.
I’m with you on feeling all alone about my feelings. It’s not easy to confide in your family or friends about it. Especially when you are 16 like I was.
Hi Spencer,
This is the 2nd part of my hairloss story. I just read your article about depression and hair loss. It was right on! Going bald goes a lot deeper than people think. When we lose our hair, we lose a part of ourselves. We lose a part of our identity. Hair isn’t just dead protein on our heads. Hair frames our face. Take a look at a picture of a guy before and after a hairpiece. It’s night and day. With the hairpiece on, you can’t even recognize him. Baldness is a medical condition. Furthermore, it’s a biological error. It’s a genetic defect. Our hair is on our heads to protect our scalp from the elements, as well as frame our face and give us our look. I bought a cheap dirty blond wig online and put it on. I couldn’t believe how different I looked. I could finally recognize myself. Identity has been a major issue for me. I don’t recognize myself when I’m bald. I feel as though I’m on chemo. I’ve been a norwood six for ten years, and I still don’t know what I’m looking at in the mirror.
It’s amazing that it’s 2008, and they can’t cure androgenetic alopecia. They can do rocket propulsion,astrophysics, as well as decode the human genome but they can’t cure baldness. What the hell is that?
I don’t believe I will ever be the Geoff I was when I had hair. I had my wavy, thick hair on top. I used hair gel, and the girls loved my hair as well as me. I had the boy band look. They were all over me. I remember being 16 years old and coming home on the train from Boston. I met two girls(about my age)on the train, and they gave me their phone numbers. One was a brunette, and one was blonde.They literally called me up on the phone one day and told me that I was HOT! Of course, at that time, I had BARELY begun to recede on my temples. Those days are nothing but a daydream now. A constant daydream. Some sort of fantasy I never got to experience. One of the girl’s names was Erin. I developed a phone relationship with her. I liked her. One day she made a derogatory remark about a bald guy who lived next to her. Ouch! That hurt. Although you couldn’t really notice my receding hairline, it was detectable with some effort. I was freaking 16!!!! I never got a chance to be a kid. That’s all I ever wanted. I have many stories like that. They all end with my being trapped in my body.
I just don’t have the confidence I once had. I excelled at every sport I did, got academic awards, and felt as though I could conquer the world. I have suffered from major depression, severe OCD, and anxiety. I believe most of this is related to my hairloss. Only those who have been affected by hairloss will understand me. When my mother was dying from cancer when I was 17, I never saw her cry until she began losing her hair. If that doesn’t make people understand the gravity of hairloss, I don’t know what will.
-Geoff
My life is not so great because of going bald. I lost my hair rapidly, it took about 5 years from start to completely bald on top. I am now 29 years old and think I could have had a better job if I didn’t go through this. I was married young when I had hair, but I still think that my wife thinks she got got gypped. She has been hinting to me to have a hair transplant. Every time sees see a Bosledy commercial on TV she makes comments like that guy look very good. It makes me feel even worse about myself to think that my own wife is disappointed and feels stuck with me.
Hey do you podcast the radio show?
Hey Spencer:
You’re a great voice of truth, reason, and reality in this forsaken hairloss industry — especially in the surgical hair transplant industry. It absolutely baffles me that there are big clinics out there that are so ready and willing to cut into the heads of emotionally-prone, vulnerable men. Blood and tissue. And for what? Money? And these poor men probably think that in 3 months, they’re going to be just like the “after” pictures that probably sold them. I can speak from experience — it takes time and it takes research and education. In my opinion, stick with the IAHRS and only with it. My IAHRS doctor gave me the education I needed to make an intelligent decision, and that I did. And I lucky to say I am very happy.
Tee Jay
This is a very good article! I live with depression because of my hair loss and I’ve been living with it for 11 years. I’m currently in therapy and have taken several anti depressants which have helped but I still have to deal with looking at least 10 years older than I really am. I have good days and bad days like everyone else but I have been feeling better these last couple of years. I have a very understanding girlfriend who really helps me so I guess I’ve very lucky.
I’m glad that there is a place like this for guys like us. I’ve been listening to your show for about 7 months and I love it! You have helped me change my attitude about a lot of things especially how I deal with my baldness. I actually began using dermmatch after I heard you say that you use it and it definitely helps me feel better during my day.
Thanks again!
-Lee
Hey Geoff,
Just wanted to let you know that of all my friends the one who does the best with the ladies is a complete norwood—he’s got a head like a countertop. But when it happened to him he got himself a decent tan and got in shape and kept his hair very short and now he’s got more chicks than anyone I know. Hair loss does make it more challenging to get women–because it saps your self confidence –but trust me you can adapt and overcome it. You’ll still be able to get girls.
Hey Robert,
Due to contractual issues we can not podcast the entire broadcast at this time. Things might change in the future, but in the meantime we’ll try to update the featured segments as often as possible.
Thanks for all of the comments guys!
Spencer
All of you guys have plenty of positive things ahead of you! Including you…. Spencer. Hair loss is something you deal with. While I prefer not to be bald and will do anything (within reason) to stop it……..I would accept being bald because I’d have no other choice.
The best way to DEAL with a fear is to face it! Otherwise, it will become repressed and cause depression/anxiety and all the stuff you don’t need in your life. Dudes, kids have cancer at age 6, a mother dies when her baby is 6 months old, a nun gets killed delivering food to the homeless…….no matter what…… you have to keep moving forward and keep thriving in life. Accept things that you can not change or fight a LOSING battle.
Love you all!!!!
Thanks for the update Spencer! I really wish you could somehow put the entire show on your website. I really enjoy listening and sometimes I would like to rewind it if I could.
Why don’t you just record the show off of Stickam? I’m sure it’s fine as long as you don’t plan to rebroadcast it.
-Lee
I started losing my hair at 14 years old and it sucks!
Hair loss completely destroyed my self-steem and my will to keep liviing.
People say “don’t care… it’s just hair” but it’s not on their heads.
Knowing that you’ll never be able to enjoy your hair again and will be slave to the grandfather look even when you’re young is a freaking curse!!!
I hate hair loss! Please someone cure this disease! I want my life back and I’m willing to pay any amount of money for a real cure!
Hey man,
So many of our listeners are in your exact position. You’re not alone. Tune into the show it can really help.
I am 15 and the past 6 months/year iv been noticing in class that my hair is falling out onto my jotter. I am naturally blond but my hair has been dyed brown but the roots are blond, when it falls out its only brown hair. I get really down and depressed about it sometimes and i have asked my mother and my aunt if they have noticed any changes but they both said no. Are they just saying what i want to hear because i am sure that i can see my hairlin receding.
I started losing my hair at age 19. It has gone from being absolutely thick to being very thin, and sparse. I am 23 now and have lost a significant amount of hair, people freak out when I tell them I am 23, I look like im 40 or something. I am also suffering from premature hair greying so that adds to the turmoil. About 60% of my hair is grey. Everytime I go out with my friends, I feel so depressed at the sight of a full head of thick black hair. All it takes to spoil a great day is a look in the mirror. I was a very handsome guy, had a great personality and my hair was very dense, thick and pitch black but thats when genetics decided to spoil the day. I feel so depressed sometimes when I look at the mirror, I’ve become very nervous over the years and I’m tired of fighting with my feelings for the past 5 years dealing with this mess. My confidence has shattered and this is taking so my much of my attention that I cannot focus on what is important in life. I see my friends going out, getting girlfriends, checking out 20 year olds and everytime I look at a 20 year old she thinks I’m some sick 30 year old hitting on college chicks. I don’t know how to deal with this and I have made myself to believe that I’ll be made to suffer for life for no fault of my own. I know people say “its just hairloss, suck it up” but I wouldn’t want this curse to haunt the worst of my enemies.
Hi Worried,
While it is possible for guys your age to begin seeing the signs of early onset male pattern baldness, what you describe sounds more like hair breakage.
If you have noticeable blond roots and the hair that you see falling out does not have a blond root, it is likely that you have somehow damaged you hair, perhaps by improperly dying it.
The only real way to know is to see a doctor who has a good handle on hair loss. He/she can check for follicular miniaturization which is the tell tale sign of Male Pattern Hair Loss. They can also check to see if in fact your hair is breaking as opposed to shedding.
Again, from how you described your situation it doesn’t sound like MPB.
As far as your family telling you what you want to hear…I can’t be sure either way.
We just launched a new message forum where guys like yourself can share your stories and get answers from veteran hair loss sufferers and qualified professionals. You can access it from this site by clicking on the community link in the top navigation bar or you can go directly to http://www.baldtruthtalk.com
You might want to upload some images to see if people think your hair loss is a noticeable as you think it is. In most cases it is not
Hope this helps!
Spencer Kobren
Is there a website or “anything at all” like this one for “women”???? I’ve been reading everything you guys have been saying and just wished I could find a place on-line where I could feel free to talk about some of my experiences, feelings, depressions, all related to my hair loss. I’m sooo bad that I don’t even enjoy going outside anymore, and I was always a female that stopped traffic where ever I went. (and that was NOT for a bad reason)! I was always use to men constantly trying to pick me up, meet me, etc. So, as you can imagine I am beyond devasated about my condition right now. Can ANYONE tell me where I can turn for help like you offer here?
Thanx a lot,
Laura
Absolutely, check out The Women’s Hair Loss Project:
http://www.womenshairlossproject.com They have a very active social network for women with hair loss:
http://community.womenshairlossproject.com
I am facing tons of depression since last 2 years.I am just 28 but looks like 40 years old. I made all success and milestone far ahead of my age, Struggled a lot in hope of dream when I would enjoy atleast one day for me and today I am no one.. (I rarely go to parties..Once one idiot mocked as uncle in group ..Just imagine..the heatache. I didn’t react to him) .I Why…….
I lost all my dreams due to high dipression…you know I never took drink..never smoke..never did any bad..my family got good hair history…I gave priority to family and my career..with principle of duty first and today I am looser…
If Gods comes after 5 years and bless me with the hairs,Money all..all..Still What abt these precious years of life…Are they coming back? I don’t want any..Just a common man beautiful life…
I would get married soon…worried a lot abt it. Even if she accepts me but would she be happy with that..or she would always think abt me..
I was working as teacher after studies.Postive attitude were and infact are always my words for all..But I always feel like lost when it comes to my appearance. It’s the fact that world sees you and later feels you….
Sometimes I think that I would wait till next Birth when I would again enjoy my life..my days..that happiness…
If you are like me..you would understand the feeling otherwise..it’s all nonsense for you….
Every thing is reversible. I can do anything..any thing..can concur entire world …Nothing is impossible..But I can’t win with myself….
I didn’t share these feeling since time…Feeling relaxed and friendly to write here…
Some where I read that baldness signifies love and kindness..I would pray for all of us that the compensasion for it is planned….
(Just rough feeling mail)..thx for the common place…
I am elated to finally find out that I am not the only person going through severe depression as a result of hair loss. I am currently 26 and I started noticing my hair was thinning when I was around 20. I sported cornrows all of my highschool years (98-01), so I could never notice that my hair was thinning. It wasn’t until a couple of weeks after my mother died in 03′ that I decided to cut my hair. Once I cut off all of my BEAUTIFUL HAIR, I noticed a tiny bald spot on the top of my scalp, and it’s been 3expanding ever since. As a result,I suffer from depression that leads to me constantly sporting a hat everytime I go out.My being uncomfortable with myself even leads to me trying to hide my baldness in the confines of my own home…. no.. not even my siblings notice my baldness as a result of me trying to wear a stocking cap over my head. Worst of all, my reluctance and trying to hide my baldness permeates into my interpersonal relationships.. more directly, women. Seeing as to how I ALWAYS wear a hat when Im out, women generally assume that you have hair if you aren’t completely shaved. Because I wear cornrows, the length of my hair extends to my shoulders, which gives the impressions to women that I have long,flowing hair. However, when they ask to see my hair I’ll tell them that it is not done, and I’ll show it to them when its done… but that time never comes, and eventually frustration sets in on both parties. I hate going bald! Sometimes I wake up wishing I hadn’t woken up in the first place. Right now Im struggling internally on whether I should shave it all off or use remedies i.e rogaine, surgical procedure. I feel for everyone going through this. Im going through a mid life crisis and its hard to see the light
-Mike
I honestly can’t believe this is happening to me so soon in life. I was once told that balding only comes from your mom’s side of the family. What a load of bs. No one on my mom’s side is bald that i know of, but my dad is completely bald at almost the age of 50, and it looks like i’m taking after him. I always knew that someday i might go bald beginning around maybe the age of 30 since that’s when my dad started loosing his hair and i tried to make myself ok with that, but i’m only 21 and am finding my hair thinning in the back already.
I started noticing it about a year ago and what’s worse is that the time i started loosing my hair was around the same time that i had just broken up with my girlfriend of 2 years. Talk about kickin a guy when he’s already down. Not only do i have to deal with loosing the first and what i believe is the only women i’ll ever be in love with or even want to be in love with, but then i start loosing my hair on top of it all.
I literally think about my hair loss now EVERY DAY. It’s so depressing. I’m tired of wearing a hat everywhere i go, and i don’t want to cut my hair off. It’s short as it is, and if i buzzed my head with bare clippers probably wouldn’t even be noticeable (atleast i hope), but i know the day is going to come when even using clippers won’t hide me going bald. I see that day as dooms day and there’s no avoiding it. I’m f***ed and there’s nothing i can do about it.
I don’t even like thinking about getting a hair transplant. I don’t trust any doctor cutting into my scalp. I’ve seen pictures of some of the horror stories that others have went through by taking that road. Then if the hair transplant is horrendous, you don’t even have the option anymore of wearing ur hair short or bald because of the ridiculous scar circling the lower part of ur head from ear to ear.
I’ve heard from some guys that after taking propecia they can’t get their dicks hard anymore or have trouble having children. Even if there is only a slight chance of becoming unable to perform anymore after taking this drug, i couldn’t even dream of taking that chance. I mean seriously–risking the chance of not being able to get a hard on again, possibly meeting a woman who would accept you for who u are, and becoming completely embarrassed when she finds you can’t do s*** with ur limp d*** — i don’t think so.
Stem cell research seems to be the only real hope out there, but that’ll never happen. They always keep saying and saying it’s only about 5-10 years away. It’s a timeline which keeps moving with time.
I can’t commit suicide because i believe anyone who does so would go straight to hell for that, but sometimes i wish someone else could just do it for me and spare me this agony and depression.
Hi
I know exactly what everyone on this site is going through and how they feel. I was about 18 or 19 when I first noticed my hair was receding. People can be very cruel, they used to say all sorts of things about my hair, making jokes and comments, and although I may have laughed it off, deep down I just wanted to die, they had no idea what it was doing to me. When you’re young, you’re concerned about your looks, and this includes your hair, and I’ve become obscessed with my hair, it really gets to me, I’m 34 now and it still bothers me, I feel that it’s been a fighting battle to get it looking right. I’m sure it has caused my depression, I find it hard to be happy, I don’t want to be depressed about it, so if I’m depressed about it, I feel that the hair has won, it’s beaten me, it’s made me depressed, but also I can’t be happy because I’m not happy with it. So the way I try to deal with it is by trying to do something about it, like taking medication, I can’t shave it off, I would feel that’s beaten me, and I hate when people say, “oh, just shave it off”, that really gets to me. I find it hard to have my photo taken, or look in shop windows. So I hope what I’ve said helps other people about how they feel.
I started going bald prematurely when I was 17 because I took accutane. It was completely unexpected because my family genes are pretty good in terms of hair loss, and I can’t think of anyone in my extended family with a bald head. Initially, it was really depressing for me… taking a drug to get rid of my serious acne and winding up bald…not the best trade-off. But in a way having already dealt with the emotional pain of acne has made this whole balding thing a little bit easier to deal with. I
I read a lot of the comments on here and just wanted to say to people…if you are going bald there is no point in feeling bad about it because everybody does at some point. When I first started losing my hair I was depressed and I would dread taking showers and hate waking up in the morning, but then I realized I’d just need to find a new way to feel confident and attractive so I hit the gym pretty hard and now I’m in great shape and feeling great about myself. Since I had pretty thick hair to begin with I haven’t had to shave it yet but when that day comes I’m pretty sure I’ll be ready for it.
All of you guys can do it too - if you are spending all your time looking in shop windows and mirrors, and worrying about how you look…keep in mind that everyone else on the street is doing the same thing; even someone with a great head of hair could feel completely depressed about a different component of their appearance. If you can fake confidence, you will eventually find it.
I would say there’s no point spending money on propecia or rogaine because I’ve already had to deal with awful side effects from taking accutane (not just thinning hair). I think its better to get in shape, to accentuate something else about you that makes you feel good - and to stay busy so you aren’t always thinking about hair. But that’s just me.
I started going bald at age of 18 and am now 23 and pretty much all gone now. I really have dealt with this bad and no matter what, im constantly thinking bad things 24/7. im so depressed and cant look in any reflection as this makes me so worse, I am getting really bad OCD. I really no i should get over it but its been 5 years now and really dont know what to do, ive tried spending money on everything basically but its never going to be the same. I absolutely have no confidence and feel like my life has been cut short and i cant stop looking and wishing that i was like my friends. Im near on completely bald and i still only look about 16 years of age. I really wish that i felt hope. I am very lucky to have a girlfriend who supports me but I presume I drive her crazy with this human defect. I really cant concentrate on anything else apart from this and its ruining my life.
reading this doesnt make me feel better but reassures me that im not alone and that someone out there understands how i feel.
thanks for reading. apologies for the grammar.
Mark, that is the best outlook I have read about going bald. Everyone should take a chapter out of his book and just let it be. Life if too short to worry about something like being bald. Sure it makes you stick out in a crowd, but why not take it as a reason to reinvent yourself. Bad feelings will always lead to depression.
As for hair transplants, I have considered them, but have decided to not go through with a cosmetic surgery that will leave my head scarred for life. I am 22 and like mark, have also taken accutane and noticed my head balding at 17. I still wake up every morning wishing I had hair and now I have decided to put that lunacy to the wayside.
This web site/ community is a doing a great service to balding people looking for answers. My best answer right now: deal with it, work on your body, mind and spirit. Be a good person and good will come. Think about yourself as bad, ugly and disfigured, you’ll become depressed… So just live in the positive light.
I wish I found it that easy.
I am a woman and as such would like to say I cannot imagine why all you men think you are not attractive because of balding hair. There are pl;enty of attractive men- some of whom have hair and some of whom are bald- there are also plenty of men who are not so attractive- with or without hair. Your hair is only 1 part of you- and yes I understand that you see it as a very important part. But believe me, attractive eyes, a great smile, and a strong healthy body etc all do the trick to attract females just as much as (you think) hair does. Confidence and a devil-may care- attitude are also very attractive. Please stop apologising for yourselves and if you feel it is necessary to compensate (it isn’t) sharpen up on your other female- attracting weapons.
The main thing for me is that everybody says it’s normal to go bald, but I would have liked to wait until my mid 40′ies … and even then I wouldn’t have liked it, but I wouldn’t have complained. I’m 23 god dammit, I’m not supposed to look in the mirror and try to cover my reseeding hairline. I have good things in my life and though im not a sexy beast I have a funktioning body, a normal apperanse otherwise, friends and family. But the constant tought of my hairline is always bugging me, everytime I see my reflection. l know how trivial it is, and how little my friends and family think it matters. It’s like haveing a grain of sand in my eye… always there annoying me. And if I complain people would answer you could have been blind, stop complaining.
I lost 10 years of my life because of my hairloss, and the battle isn’t finished yet. Im dead inside and depressed. I can’t enjoy life anymore. i got no friends, never had a girlfriend and im still living with my parents because of this shit. Im tired of living in a dark world and seeing other people enjoying life and i can’t.
I got no control of my hairloss, but my hairloss has it over me, its like a virus or cancer in my head that kills me slowly.
I know that many people don’t understand this problem, many people think that hairloss is just a little problem, but it can destroy your whole life and im one of them.
My brother lost also his hair at 17y and i was one of them who could not understand how this problem can control your life, but when it hit me, then i know how it feels.
The worst thing is not having this problem, but the biggest problem is that there is not cure.
There are pills like dutasteride and propecia, but if ur hairloss is very aggressive like mine, then those pills will only work for a few years, and if u read al these side effects about propecia, then u will think twice of taking them and i know it because i already used both of them
One day there will be a cure for baldness, but too late for me.
I agree. When hair loss isn’t happening to you personally, it’s not a big deal. My hair loss has changed my life and am still battling major depression. I don’t know how to shake it. I’m 32 years old and hide under a ball cap. I don’t go to functions where I cannot wear my cap. It’s insane, but again, cannot shake this. I’m at the point where I just want to live my life and enjoy life while I’m still fairly young. I’m considering having a hair transplant. People ask, “Why would you spend thousands of dollars for a hair transplant?” They just don’t understand. Self-confidence and happiness are more important to me than $$$$$$. Self-confidence and happiness are priceless.
i really wish it was that easy
So I’m sixteen and going bald. It really sucks. Like really badly. I just want to know if there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Will I ever accept this? Please tell me I will… please tell me it won’t continue taking over my life the way it is. I’m totally miserable, it’s all I can think about. I want to stop being so unhappy.
I’ll never forget when I realized I was actually losing hair. I was 18. I had a job at an afterschool daycare and I was outside playing with the kids around a play structure. A fifth grader was above me getting ready to go down a slide and said, “Man, you have a sand pit.” I wasn’t sure what he was talking about until I got home that night and actually did a full scan of the top of my scalp. My heart dropped that night, and the obsession with my scalp and the insecurities would consume my life from that point until now. I’m turning 30 tomorrow. I’m actually happy to be getting older because now my age is finally catching up with my baldness. I’m lucky to have married early while I still had some hair, and I’m also lucky to have a wife that loves me for who I am and not what my head looks like. Even with the support, I am still battling with periods of depression. Some weeks are better than others, but overall my baldness has taken a huge chunk out of my confidence and social interaction. I get jealous when I see 60 year old guys with a full head of hair. It’s almost comical how much I dwell on it. I have found ways to feel good about myself, and just when I feel like I’m finally over it - BAM - I wake up and look at my ugly head in the mirror and look forward to shaving my head again. I never used rogaine or any other hair treatment, and actually feel good about it. I refuse to fork over money to those corporations. It’s almost as if they don’t want to find a cure for baldness, because of all the money they make each month off of us. Why find a cure for them when they are making us rich. Just one of my conspiricy theories.
It felt good to find this website, and even better to know that there are other people out there that share my thoughts. Stay strong my bald brothers. I’m hoping that god is doing this as a test for our us and our character, and when we walk through the pearly gates it will seem as though we had never lost the hair in the first place and we will once again be blessed with our thick heads of hair. Take care!